If I Die…See Splenda

I’m pretty sure Gwyneth Paltrow eats macrobiotically (super healthy). It’s no surprise that she named her little girl Apple. It’s like how I might name my first born Splenda.

I heart Splenda more than most boyfriends. I love it in my oatmeal along with brown sugar. I’ve never indulged in it strait from the package… but I’ve considered it. It’s awesome in coffee. If enough is added it becomes a warm sweet drink with just a hint of coffee flavor. (Obviously add lots of milk or cream)
Now let’s talk Crystal Light Lemonade. While others unwind at night with a sophisticated glass of merlot, I slurp down some Crystal (not the champagne). Self mixing by glass, I serve up an intense, fakey, citrusy sludge of sweet goodness. I could follow the directions on the package but I don’t read manuals, follow appliance instructions or adhere to diets so why start now with rules, measurements and regulations? I make a big glass of what I call Crystal Heavy. It’s like the meth of lemonades. Yum.
Anyway, the point is if I die… see Splenda. (Other alias’s include Dextrose, Maltodextrin and Sucralose)
Hugs, Penelope

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