“Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” – Your Grandma’s.

WTF Oprah? I finally ordered a pair of NYDJ and not only do they not “cut my butt in half” they practically come with a walker.

This isn't even my scooter.

Not Your Daughter's Rascal Scooter

For years I’ve been hearing about these remarkable jeans that your daughter wouldn’t wear. Yeah, she wouldn’t wear them! She also wouldn’t wear pantaloons or moo-moos or dentures.

Yes, there were signs I missed on their website, which I guarantee you some one’s grand daughter designed.

The testimonials come from women with names like Barb, Joan and Prentiss even though everyone named Prentiss died before denim was invented.

One amazed fan writes, “They’re very comfy.” That’s the whole review! To defend the writer of this glowing endorsement, she may have gotten distracted because the nurse said it was time to take her pills then Maude wheeled in to her room with some juicy gossip she couldn’t remember.

But why was I so disappointed when I gazed at my body in the jeans my fictional daughter would ridicule behind my back which was covered in denim cut so high it practically touched my bra strap?

Because I still like to fuck…or make love depending on my mood.

Okay, I may just be having a bad reaction to jeans that don’t look good on me. At least it’s not while I’m in the store and in front of a sixteen-year-old sales girl at Forever 21(true story).

My ass is huge. It's a problem.

These jeans make me look tiny.

It doesn’t matter whether I wear Not Your Daughter’s Jeans or Dream Out Loud by Selena Gomez jeans (I do because I’m a dreamer with a budget). I’m still sexy and slightly unstable in a way that charms.

Prentiss, I take it back. I’m glad you’re comfy and still alive!

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