LES MISERABLES, LES 99%, LES I GIVE UP ALREADY!

No see Les Mis! Jus puts me down!

Not having hairball. Just saw Les Mis.

Skip the popcorn. You’ll do better with a large buttered assortment of pills to throw back for this never feel good again masterpiece. Spoiler Alert- there is no tap dancing… or God. On the other hand we’re supposed to believe there’s a heaven and a kindly Priest who doesn’t touch anybody in a creepy way. But none of that fooled me. I was rooting for the hero to accidentally get killed and not just because I had to pee. By the time Hugh Jackman was wading through a river of feces and corpses…Hold on, I’m going to be sick. My point is a musical shouldn’t make you barf. That’s what the Bravo network is for. And a musical shouldn’t make you feel hopeless. That’s what Congress is for.
Les Miserables? You’ve gone too far. Tout miserables. Yes, you’re a tour de despair full of remarkable performances and visuals that are stunning. You know what’s also stunning? After listening to one song for a half a day I still can’t hum it. Maybe it’s the pills.
Please consider these alt titles…
Les What Happens With No Medicare
Les Hope You Like This Song Cuz It Lasts 3 Hours
Les They Had 1-800-Dentist During The French Revolution?
Annie (If Daddy Warbucks Had Been An Abusive Pimp)
Les Wisconsin 2030
Les At Least It’s Not Cats
Les Uhhh, Merry Christmas..?
Les Psst, I’m Going To Run To The Ladies Room To Kill Myself. Tell Me What Happens. No Wait, Please Don’t.

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