Category Archives: General

This Isn’t 40…

…unless you’re married with children. Then, wow! It sucks to be you. Please accept my apology for looking so well rested and sexy. If I knew you were all depressed, neutered and farty, I would have toned down my glow. … Continue reading

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Sneaker Wedges. The Gateway drug back to adolescence.

  So excited about the sneaker wedges I ordered. They’re super cool and good for my feet. Dr. Oz says so. Actually, it was Dr. Jay. Same diff. Gotta sext. Sexting totally goes with sneaker wedges. ;)

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Learn ABCs, Pass Kindergarten, Win Oscar

Quvenzhane, you did a great job. Academy? Turn your thinkers on! When the most celebrated work in your field is accomplished by a six year old, your field is either wetting the bed or acting. And that makes acting look … Continue reading

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Penelope’s Podcasts

This month Penelope is sharing her adventures at Burning Man on the Story Worthy Podcast. It’s available on iTunes, too. Penelope will also be on The Koz Effect on Sunday, 1/27 at 8PM. Comics discussing politics. Don’t miss it!

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Skip the popcorn. You’ll do better with a large buttered assortment of pills to throw back for this never feel good again masterpiece. Spoiler Alert- there is no tap dancing… or God. On the other hand we’re supposed to believe … Continue reading

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I’ve been noticing that in few vulnerable moments when I engage in a mini weeping festival of heart ache and or personal panic many “friends” will tell me I need to to be of service to others or volunteer. Oh. … Continue reading

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PTV: Penelope TV

All the top hits from Penelope! YouTube responded to TubePress with an HTTP 410 – No longer available

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“Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” – Your Grandma’s.

WTF Oprah? I finally ordered a pair of NYDJ and not only do they not “cut my butt in half” they practically come with a walker. For years I’ve been hearing about these remarkable jeans that your daughter wouldn’t wear. … Continue reading

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I Still Hate Babies

I received yet another email regarding my post “I Hate Babies”. It is by far the nicest. “What the HELL is the matter with YOU, you disgusting pile of crap? How could you hate babies? I’m sorry, it’s just, OK, … Continue reading

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S*#T That’s Art

I found this statue of a nail polish bottle on line…and it’s on sale for only 89.90! Or I could sell you the one I handmade. It says “Wet N Wild” on it and I’m only charging 89.00. That’s a … Continue reading

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